Understandably, the topic might sound like a cliché. You know, like the many top 5 lessons about "X" by online gurus. But trust us, this piece is all gold with no crap. And here is why:
We’re Jacobo & Helen: the owners of Shop Deluxy. And what we do is sell wedding gifts. But beyond that, we are married, and our world (lives and business) revolve around marriages and love birds.
The fun part: we listen to married folk's talks. And some of the things they talked about was what they wished they had known about marriage before 30.
So, yes, we know a lot about weddings. And you can rest assured that the topic is our niche. Moreover, the lessons included in this post are some of what we wished we knew too about marriage before we hit 30.
In summary, you are in good hands!
Note: the lessons here, though aimed at the "before-the-aisles," are not necessarily time-bound. After all, marriages are a lifelong learning process.
In other words, if you didn't know these tips (that we will share) after 30, you can still learn - and apply them regardless.
That said, let's delve into our list of the top 5 lessons about weddings to learn before you hit 30!
Shared Interests Should Be The Base
We understand that facial beauty is a priority. Who doesn't like to have a sweet and pretty Cinderella as his wife? Or prince charming as their partner?
But beyond that, you should seek more than beauty. Yes, your spouse is cute, but do they fancy your leisure activity? Do you share any fun ideas at all? Would all the talks be only about finance and kids?
Can you see the trend? If you glue to a partner that shares none of your interests, the marriage will soon grow stale. So, does that mean you must fancy all your spouse's hobbies?
No! You can always respect individual differences - diversity is bliss in itself. However, know this:
The more hobbies and interests you and your partner share, the better. When that happens, you will have binding activities that will continuously spark your marriage.
Also, having a partner that shares your interests means you won't ditch your old friends.
You And Your Partner Should Have Mutual Values
Like your interests, you and your partner should have an overlap of values. Already, you both had different upbringings. That's enough difference, especially when you want to discuss the core foundation of your marriage.
So, what values should you aim for?
The first thing you want is a partner that shares your beliefs. S/he might not necessarily be a co-believer of your faith or religion. But, at least, your spouse should accept the foundation of what is "good" or "bad" for you.
Secondly, your partner should maintain your views about financial management. The last thing you want is someone who exhausts you over money troubles. For that reason, stick to a partner who also desires your frugal or luxury lifestyle.
Lastly, and most importantly, choose a partner who shares the same parenting idea as you. If financial management isn't compatible, at least you can both work it out. Parenting is different and could affect your children's upbringing, especially if you and your spouse have opposing ideas.
Learn To Enjoy Irrespective Of Your Kids
Do you remember how much fun it was before your kids? Your perfect honeymoon location and the experience, the trips, and late-night parties!
Do you still have some of those fun activities?
That's one question you should plan for now. And here's why:
We get it; you and your spouse both have a home to plan and children that need care. But when your marriage revolves only around responsibilities, you will both be worn out.
The worse part: when you and your spouse become worn out, it will seem only the kids and responsibilities are what hold the union. And that can be hectic.
Fortunately, you can avoid such an experience. The way out is to keep having fun irrespective of your kids. One way to start is to celebrate your anniversaries - always.
Besides, you can even have your children have fun with you. And if they are too young for that, you can hire a sitter.
Pro tip: go on family outings. Still, create a unique getaway for just you and your spouse.
Humour Is Golden
Marriages come with a diverse set of downs. In those moments, from our experience, a spark of humor can help make the outcomes better. And that is why you should marry someone who can make you laugh.
Imagine how great it would be when there is a disagreement between you and your spouse, and you both end up making a joke out of it!
Mind you: a sense of humor doesn't mean you and your partner don't know when to get serious. Instead, it means you both make yourselves happy, laugh, regardless of whatever is happening or has happened. And that is golden!
Besides, who would you rather be with than a partner who gets you through your down moments and makes you laugh away your worries?
Pro tip: both partners should have a healthy sense of humor.
Romance Doesn't Rule Marriages
One would think marriages mean waking up to beds of roses and a dinner filled with chocolate filings. While those romantic gestures would make you and your spouse ecstatic, it doesn't dictate your union.
Don't get us wrong; romance is beautiful. And we are such big fans. So much so, we have written a piece detailing how to organize romantic weddings.
Regardless, you should know that some days in marriage, romance won't be enough. Worse: the romantic gestures might not even surface. On such zero-love days, it is your responsibility to stick to your vows and be there for your family.
Pro tip: romance is relative. So, don't overdo your abilities trying to outdo social media hype. Just be you!
Always remember one rule; in marriage, you and your spouse are now one. So, live in that consciousness and work as a team. You can start by making and executing plans together.
And say you can't feel your early marriage spark at some point, engage your partner and discuss how to bring it back. In the end, you choose your spouse for a reason - always remember that!
Good luck with your marriage!