Here in Shop Deluxy, we see everything about marriages as intentional. You meet someone, and you decide to spend the rest of your life with them – regardless of their flaws. And through thick and thin, that consciousness helps you both to stick together forever.
While all the vows are great, the truth remains that you can’t arrive at the bigger picture of a beautiful marriage without some behavioral adjustment. You can accept flaws, yes. But why not work on them? Why not be intentional about being a better spouse for your partner?
And mind you, being intentional about being better for your spouse doesn't mean you have to be perfect. In contrast, your conscious efforts are what matters. After all, Rome wasn't built in a day.
So, take the following steps and be a better spouse; your partner deserves it.
5 Intentional Ways To Be A Better Spouse
Be Available
If you are always away from your spouse, work on that first. Without availability, you can’t sustain any relationship in the long run.
Now, don't get us wrong; you don't have to stay glued to your partner at all times like an ant to sugar. You have work to do and a career to build. Even at that, make conscious efforts to spend time with your spouse.
Also, how you spend the said time matters. What do you do together with your spouse even when you're available? Or are you “just around”?
Our recommendation: don’t just be around; go out on dates, and do house chores together.
Suggested reading: Best Romantic Getaways For Couples In 2022
Resist The Urge to Stay Silent During Conflicts
Being available won’t stop conflicts between you and your partner. Disagreements will always happen. And it is even best that they happen when you’re around. Why?
Conflicts over the phone tend to take time, especially when the parties involved are non-apologetic. On the other hand, you can't stay mad forever with someone who shares your bed and home.
Either way, avoid being mute during disagreements with your partner. At the same time, don't utter words that might strain the situation. Instead, you can take a break and continue the conversation when you're calm.
You can simply say, I love you, but can we resume the conversation in like 15 mins? Doing so shows your partner you care and still cherish them regardless of the conflict.
Have An Opinion, But Be Open To Influence
While in conflict with your spouse, avoid being a "yes man." Don't be that person that agrees with everything just to resolve disagreements. While it might work at the start, your partner will eventually see through the facade.
Besides, you'll never be happy when you deceive yourself just to please another person - regardless of who they are to you. So, what should you do?
Always state your opinion. Reflect your values and constructively show why your way might be the better option. However, avoid being rigid. How?
Your solutions might not be the best option. Give room for your partner's solution too, and critically compare the options. If your partner's piece is better, concede to it.
Get To The Root Of Disagreements And Conflicts
Indeed, we say disagreements are constant in any relationship. But in truth, you can reduce them to the barest minimum. How?
All disagreements arise from an underlying yearning. If your partner is angry that you focus all your energy on work, don't fret. The anger is because they want your attention. They want to feel prioritized and to be the center of your world.
So, find the underlying issues like the examples we listed and address them. If you don't spend enough time at home, create more time. Include your partner in your plans. Discuss your fears and aspirations with them at all times.
Most importantly, don’t take the three magic words lightly. Regardless of the length of the marriage, always tell your spouse you love them. Overall, work on your emotional intelligence.
Own Your Mistakes And Don’t Give Crappy Apologies
The last step of being a better spouse is to be responsible for your mistakes. That is perhaps the most critical part of emotional intelligence.
So, suppress your ego, walk up to your partner and own up to your mistakes. And while you’re at it, work on your apologies. Don’t make them lame.
Pro tip: apologies doesn’t mean you’re wrong. You can say sorry from a position of strength and understanding.
Need more resources to be a better spouse? Check these posts: